• Cariss Cole

Managing Feelings

Making Your Emotions Work for You


Ever have a day, a week or even a season that rubs you the raw? A seas though “it’s” relentlessly sticking “it to you”? Feelings should not dictate actions. A vicious cycle begins when you let your actions become reflective of your feelings. Before you know it, you become a product of your poor decisions as a result of your uncontrolled emotions. Give careful thought to your ways. Do not listen to any feeling that causes you to act anyway unloving, to yourself or others. Managing your feelings in a healthy way will allow you to make your emotions work for you instead of against you.


Do you know that love is a decision, not an emotion? I wish you a #LOVE that comes through #FAITH and creates #HOPE. Sometimes in life we feel down, maybe even #worthless at points. Learning the difference between reality and what you feel is vital to learning how to handle your feelings in a healthy way. Managing feelings begins with understanding emotions and how they affect everything else.


How you Feel Doesn't Determine Your Worth



It’s so easy to get our worth and our works confused. Most of us know what it’s like to work ourselves to exhaustion & beyond. So why do we do it? What are we trying to prove? Just because you work yourself to fatigue, trying to take control, doesn't mean you are guaranteed success or accomplishment.


Your worth cannot be earned or it could be taken away at any moment. Letting your feelings guide you and bully you into earning your worth will make you unhealthy. Stop for a minute and think. Determine how you are feeling and if your emotions are leading you to manage your life in a healthy or unhealthy way.


Don’t give up hope. Don’t give up choosing right from wrong. Don’t give up on being a blessing to others. Don’t give up on making an impact in the people around you, because you DO matter. No matter what ideas the “world” may be forcing on you, like #socialdistancing . You are NOT ALONE and you are worthy of love and good things.


Socializing should not be distanced, in times like this we need as many positive connections as we can get. Social distancing is one of the worst ideas of the times we are living in now. Physical distancing might be where your comfort lies, but don’t hesitate to reach out and connect with others even if it’s digitally. We do not need to be afraid of each other. #Masks can do an excellent job of dehumanizing us, but we need NOT forget what it was like before all of this chaos set in motion. You are worthy of a life full of healthy relationships and joy.


Managing Your Emotions Makes Your Dreams Come Alive



A dream is a cherished hope; an ambition; an aspiration. Without dreams life would be rather boring and mundane. Be exceptional! The most vital rules you can follow are your maker’s. Don’t settle for the status quo. Lead your emotions. Let your feelings follow your actions, not control them. Live and love exceptionally. Make others want to know why you are so different. Learning how to control your emotions will make your dreams come alive.


Managing Your Feelings Holistically Makes You Healthier


If you want to become healthier, you have to become intentional about it. I tried to live at everyone else’s pace. I barely rested, ate on the go and tried to live up to an impossible ideal I created. This lifestyle caused me much #anxiety and #stress and forced me to learn how to overcome it, which I did naturally without medicine.


I honestly felt as though I were on a bridge suspended over rapidly flowing water. Not quite secure in my footing and always having the possibility of tripping or falling on my mind. No secret formula exists. Life is a series of trials and errors until you understand what works best for you personally. #Negativity was another thing that I had to learn to "escape" in my effort to move beyond my feelings.


You will continue to feel overwhelmed and exhausted until you take the steps to become healthy physically, relationally, emotionally and spiritually. Your decisions affect more than just you. Ready to have a healthier relationship with yourself, your food and your life? You don’t have to do it on your own. You are not alone. It’s ok if you’re struggling, it’s just not ok to stay there and let it get worse. Facing your feelings and learning to manage them holistically is an essential step to becoming healthier.


Don't Let Your Feelings Trap You in Comparison


Does how you look determine how you feel? Does how you feel determine how you look? How many times do you look in the mirror or change outfits before you feel acceptable?

Confidence is being able to be genuinely kind without feeling obligated or vulnerable. The importance of controlling your emotions becomes evident in your life when you are allowing your feelings to manipulate you into constant comparison. You are unique and were created that way. No one else looks like you and certainly doesn't have the same talents and abilities that you were created with.


Confidence is being ok no matter what others might think because it has no need to compare. Being self confident doesn’t let negative feelings take control. It’s understanding that when you enter a room, most people are actually focused on themselves and what others think about them. Not everything is about you. Your positive or negative focus determines how confident you feel. Walk in confidence. Wear it outwardly.


Visit our blog to help build your confidence and learn how to live and love exceptionally by leaving the status quo behind. The most vital rules you can follow in your life are your makers. Despite our innate desire for freedom, it comes with many costs. We need boundaries in our lives to live healthy and wholly. Walking this way through your life will make you stand out, but others will want to know why you are different. Do share!


Don't Let Fear Manage Your Emotions


No Fear. No worries. It’s much easier to tell ourselves and others to have no worries and no fears, but is it truly possible? The Bible tells us that the “fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” In Psalm 111:10 But we’re human, we have many weaknesses both external and internal. We are never as strong as we would like to be, but we don’t have to be!


If we look to God instead of looking around we will not have to fear bad news or the future. He will secure our hearts through our trust. We will have NO FEAR if we praise Him in the middle of the situation that is causing us fear. Things may not always appear the way we would like them to, but instead of grumbling, PRAISE! Lift your voice to Him. He surely will break your chains, just like He did for Paul and Silas. He will give you a peace that doesn’t have to REMOVE you from the situation or the fear, but instead MOVES IN you and meets you right where you are at. Give careful thought to your thoughts.


“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will Uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

God will hold your hand, have #nofear .


“For I am the Lord, your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13

No matter what you are fearing, you have the choice to change your focus. If you want to live an extraordinary life then become more devoted and less fearful. Click here, learn more about overcoming fear in your life.


5 Ways to Get Your Unwanted Emotions Under Control



There are many steps that you can take to get your emotions under control. Accepting your worth is a major step in getting your unwanted emotions in check. Understanding that your feelings are just indicators letting you know of the condition of your heart and mind.


Your emotions are meant to help you see where you are having issues and the vital need to address them. Emotions in themselves are not bad. Some emotions make us feel good while others make us feel down. Learning how to control your bad feelings by training your mind appropriately will lead you to having more positive emotions and a life full of joy.


According to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. there are 5 ways to get your unwanted emotions under control.

  1. Select the situation. (Avoid triggers that create unwanted feelings.)

  2. Modify the situation. (Don't take on more than you can handle.)

  3. Shift your attentional focus. (Focus on yourself and the process and on others.)

  4. Change your thoughts. (You become what you believe. Try thought replacement.)

  5. Change your response. (Get control of your expression of emotion.)

To read the full article, and learn how to evade unwanted emotions like anger, disappointment, and resentment visit Psychology Today.


Making Your Emotions Work for You Is Possible


It can be easy to doubt yourself and even easier to let your feelings tell you that your situation is impossible. If you think you can, you are correct. If you think you cannot, you are also correct. Your mind is so much more powerful than you give it credit for. It controls everything even down to your gut. Don't settle uncontrolled thoughts, you have the power to change this!


Begin with transforming your mind with the power of positivity. Positive thinking can transform your life if you learn how. For more inspiration, visit us on IG @gracefullythreaded or visit our blog.


You can make the seemingly impossible possible! Connect with me to begin your journey.

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