• Cariss Cole

How to Discover Your Grace

Updated: Jul 20

What is Grace?


Most of us can recall a point when we've been called "grace" by others. I'm sure that you've heard the expression a time or two. A mocking title dubbed by being caught by others in an ungraceful moment. So how do we uncover our grace?

The moments we allow our lack of elegance to show, unguarded for the outside world to judge are almost never intentional.

At some point we have wished we were more agile. That our actions and words reflected our grace fully. Have you ever tried to appear as though you effortlessly drift through life? Ever tried hiding how awkward and graceless you really are? Sound familiar? That's because we all have!


Sometimes the branding of gracelessness seems more warranted than others, like the millionth time my Pop Pop referred to me as an elephant stomping up and down the stairs. In contrast, snark remarks meant to cut deep by others, tend to be their way of trying to shield themselves from attention being called to all of the ways that they too lacked grace.



Visibility of Grace


The culmination of all of these moments proved to be more valuable than the emotions that surfaced in reaction to the individual situations in which they occurred. To place a picture alongside this word, graceful, would prove hard to encompass. Realizing that being graceful is more complex than what others view on the outside only comes with maturity.


Steps to Winning Others and Developing in Your Surroundings


  • Recognize the fact that others see your outside before they will ever see your inside.

  • Appearance is the primary way others decide if they want to get to know you.

  • Style is an excellent way to appeal and relate to others.

  • Personality can shine, once you have initially attracted others.

  • Keep in mind that the most success happens when your outward and inward appearance match.

  • Perception is reality! Belief holds the most power over us in life. Show others how you want to feel, not necessarily as you do.


Our Perception of Grace


I have never been particularly graceful. Sports and activities that demand coordination have never been enjoyable for me. Despite how hard I have tried, I still awkwardly fumble along as if I have two left feet.


Ever been there? Feeling out of place among a sea of grace? Really that's what it feels like. The odd ball out. The goofy one. A third wheel, even when there aren't any other wheels involved. Continually comparing yourself with your surroundings and always finding yourself lacking.


Things that we believe hold true. Perception truly is reality. This especially holds fast concerning our feelings about ourselves. Some reasoning only holds true to ourselves. Others are universal. What if you believed everything you were told about yourself? Even worse, what if you believe everything you told you about yourself?


How to Define Grace


The lack of grace I felt physically grew to define how I felt emotionally and spiritually. I didn't see it at the time. Convincing myself of the few things that I lacked grace in, blinded me to all of the other ways that I truly needed it. I could only see what I had convinced myself that I hadn't measured up to. I was lacking in the true understanding of the word grace.


Social Grace

The term Grace has several meanings. According to Dictionary.com, grace is defined as...


  1. "elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action"

  2. "a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment"

  3. "favor or goodwill"

  4. "a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior"


These explanations are how our society defines grace as a whole. First we are judged on the refinement of our movements, our actions and our outside appearance. Next we share goodness and honor with those around us by showing grace. Finally through grace, we are shown others' approval of us.


Divine Grace

Throughout the Bible, God imparts grace to his followers and even at times to his enemies. His grace provides a security and strength that this world cannot. This divine grace energizes us, regenerates us, and sanctifies us. It inspires us. Helps us to endure trials and resist temptations.


It is God's gift to us. An undeserved favor we could never earn. He gives it to us freely just as He gave His Son for us. He loves us so much and wants us to be a part of His family also.


Kind of unimaginable for the world to comprehend a love so deep. For those of us who have experienced it, there is nothing in this world even comparable. An eternal blessing of grace despite not deserving it and not being able to earn it, especially in a society that tells us to work hard and hustle even harder at every given moment.


Our worldly surroundings consistently tell us that if we cannot keep up with the pace around us, that we will only be left behind in its dust. Divine grace is favor, in spite of who we are in thought, word and deed is an amazing gift from God. Embrace it! This is the true pace that we need to set for our lives. Reflect it so that others desire the same grace that you know, through observing you.


How To Accept Grace


It took moving across the country for a second time and erasing 35 years of preconceived notions on my gracelessness, for me to truly learn what grace means. No matter what I had done in the past and no matter how many times I would mess up again in the future, God loves me so much He mercifully blessed me with His unmerited Grace. He loves you just as much!


This freely given gift cannot be earned, despite the world demanding our hard work to gain footing in everything. The world does an absolutely amazing job of reminding us that we could never be good enough to earn this blessing! Reminding us constantly of our need for true grace given only through God's favor.


This sacrificial gift creates an undeniable sense of peace within that certainly passes the deepest level understanding and calls for an even deeper faith in His sovereignty and in His love for us. This journey has led me to places I never been before and continues to drive me forward, propelled by the grace that now defines me. I am a child of God and I look up to Him in faith and praise Him for His grace for me and for you.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- Not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

How to Give Threads of Grace


Ever have to deal with difficult people? We all know them, commute with them, work with them and do life around them. Sometimes we even live with them. Ever reach the cashier at a check out who was in even worse of a mood than you, despite the long line you've just waited through in your exhaustion and impatience, when you just want to go home after an incredibly long day?


Daily Grind


When is the last time that someone bumped into you in public or cut you off in traffic and then scowled at you or maybe even cursed at you in their ignorance? How about the person who rear-ended you because looking at their cell phone was more important than the safety of others around them? Ever had the feeling that everyone thinks their time is so much more valuable than yours? Has anyone ever made fun of the way you looked and despite the fact that they have their own flaws, somehow it still stings?


Do you reflect God's GRACE to others despite your feelings in the moment? This is a very difficult challenge, but one that we are called to. It's very easy to become our surroundings, to reflect all that we are around. The old sayings that "we are what we eat" and "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" actually mean the same thing! What we consume, whether it is what we eat or what we input mentally, are reflected by us daily.

Where we have come from or where we are, can define us if we take no action to change our surroundings and circumstances for the better.

What is Means to be Gracefully Threaded


We need to make a conscious choice to sew Threads of Grace wherever we are, no matter the situation that we find ourselves in. No matter our feelings for others around us we are called to love like Jesus. In the Parable of the Sower, Jesus taught us that we need to sow seeds in good soil, with a firm foundation in order for our seeds to produce, not just grow and wither. The seeds that we plant are going to go through difficult seasons, but if our foundation is firm in Christ, we have everything we need to not only weather those storms, but also flourish through them.


Planting our seeds with others, especially difficult people, through our treatment of them, no matter the situation is like handing them a thread of grace. A lifeline for them to hold fast to. A thread that is different than all of the other things they are holding onto. A strand so strong that even when all of the other threads around it seem to be unraveling, this thread of grace still remains connected to the cloth from which it is weaved.


The Best News Ever : God's Grace is Free


You don't need to worry about weaving all of the threads yourself. GOD will do this, we just need to reflect His grace and share this free gift He has given us with others. Our God is bigger than any of our impermanent problems, always has been and always will be. Let go of the unwinding threads that you are trying to control and freely give these threads of grace to others and you will see how pleasing this is to God through the miracles He weaves in your life and in others lives around you. God makes us Gracefully Threaded.



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